Overthinking creates a constant mental loop that adds stress without improving outcomes. The author shares how letting go of perfection, simplifying routines, and making quicker decisions can break the cycle. By focusing less on control and more on taking action, life becomes lighter, clearer, and more manageable.
I used to make everything way more complicated than it needed to be.
I’d do it on the outside, but that was nothing compared to the clutter in my own head.
Every conversation.
Every decision.
Every little thing became a production, tossing me in a mental loop for days.
I’d replay texts after I sent them. “Should I have phrased that differently?”
I’d rethink conversations hours later. “Did they actually understand what I meant? Did I say something wrong?”
And I’d go back and forth on decisions that probably didn’t need that much thought in the first place. It felt like I was being thorough. Checking all my boxes.
But really…I was just overthinking everything. And I wasn’t getting anywhere.
The Constant Mental Loop
I didn’t really notice how constant this was until I stepped back. I could understand a little bit of overthinking when it came to big decisions. But that’s not all this was.
It was small stuff, too.
“What did they mean by that?”
“Is this the right move?”
And it would just loop. I couldn’t stop it. At some point, I realized something that felt a little ridiculous when I said it out loud: I was solving problems that didn’t even exist.
Nothing had actually happened. No one said anything. There was no real issue.
But in my head, I had already created five versions of it for no reason.
I Thought More Thinking Meant Better Outcomes…
This showed up everywhere.
At Club ULD (U Lucky Dog), I used to think the more I thought about something, the better the decision would be.
More analyzing.
More planning.
More back and forth.
That’s how I’d make the best possible decision. But most of the time, it didn’t lead to a better answer.
It just slowed everything down. After spending way too long thinking in circles. I had to simplify things.
Now, I’ll get the information I need, maybe ask for input, and then just make a decision. Most decisions don’t need more thinking. You just need to make a move.
It’s that easy.
My “Perfect Routine” Phase
I did the same thing with my routines. Especially with health.
I had this whole skincare setup at one point, multiple products, way too many steps. My bathroom counter was covered in products. None of them cheap.
And I didn’t even stick to it. If I didn’t have time for every single step, I wouldn’t do any of them. I was just making it harder than it needed to be.
After wasting more money than I’d like to admit, I went to a dermatologist, got a simple routine, and I’ve been sticking with it for months.
It’s just a handful of products that actually work. It’s realistic.
Before, I was doing more and getting worse results. I just thought I was supposed to have a multi-step routine because that’s what everyone else was doing.
Same with my workouts. I used to think it had to be perfectly planned. That mental loop was honestly more exhausting than my workouts were.
I don’t think about it at all anymore. I just do something. Doesn’t matter how long it is. Doesn’t matter where it is.
I just do it. There’s no need to overplan and overcomplicate something that can easily be done in 10 minutes.
Trying to Get Everything “Right”
This probably showed up the most in my personal life. I had this idea in my head that I needed to do everything right at all times.
Say the right things.
Handle everything perfectly.
Be everyone’s go-to.
Make every moment worthwhile.
Otherwise, I wasn’t being a good mom, wife, sister, daughter, you name it. This created so much unnecessary pressure.
At some point, I had to step back and remind myself: I don’t need to get everything right. I just need to show up. That’s all anyone is expecting.
The Real Life-Changing Shift
If I had to sum it up, it’s this: I used to think complexity meant control.
Like if I thought about something long enough, planned it well enough, or added enough structure, I could get the outcome I wanted. I could have full control.
But that’s never how it works. I hate to break it to you. All it really did was create noise that got so loud I couldn’t do anything else.
Now my focus is on keeping things simple because that’s what actually works.
Fewer rules.
Less overthinking.
Less trying to optimize everything.
Instead, I give myself more space and flexibility.
I don’t need to overthink and spiral about everything I do or say. Every part of my life doesn’t need to be optimized.
I just need to live it. Period.
What I Let Go Of
I stopped trying to:
- Have the perfect plan.
- Say everything exactly right.
- Think through every possible outcome.
- Control how everything plays out.
It took me a while to do this. I’m talking about years.
But once I finally let go, I realized pretty quickly that all of that stuff I used to obsess over for days didn’t matter nearly as much as I thought it did.
It was just my cluttered mind taking control.
Final Thoughts
Like I said, this took years. That’s not an exaggeration. I didn’t just wake up one day and stop overanalyzing my entire life. I really had to work at it.
It was more like catching myself in those moments of overthinking and choosing not to go down the same rabbit hole I’ve been through multiple times before.
Now I let things be simpler. I’m not focused on everything being perfect because I’ve learned it’s not possible anyway. So why stress?
If I just do the best I can each day and show up for the people who need me, most of the time that’s enough. And I’m good with that.
Because it turns out, life feels a lot lighter when everything isn’t so complicated in your own head.
